HUNTSVILLE, Ala. — This Wellness Wednesday, we are tackling a very hard topic: signs of domestic violence and abuse. The truth is, it is a serious reality. According to the CDC more than 61 million women and 53 million men have experienced psychological aggression by an intimate partner in their lifetime. Intimate partner violence can also result in injuries and even death.
Huntsville Psychotherapy and Counseling Services Owner and Psychotherapist Monretta Vega said domestic violence and abuse can happen to people of any gender. "A lot of times when we are experiencing domestic violence or abuse and abuse, we feel shame and shocked that this is even happening to us. Someone verbally dismissing you or deflating you or abusing you is still considered domestic violence, even though it may not be the physical aspect. It's more mental."
Furthermore, one thing to keep in mind, "We may say, 'this person is playing it, that's just a nickname'. No, if it hurts your feelings and you are uncomfortable with name calling, that's abuse. And then also just someone discrediting you, someone taking away are impacting your confidence by making you feel less in any way, shape or form."
So what are some key identifiers to watch out for? "Being gaslit where we know something to be true, but the partner is talking to us in a very demeaning way and trying to alter what we know to be true, demeaning words, a little forms of bullying." And sometimes the truth is, "The victims still care for the abuser and it's okay for you to care and leave. Two things can be true at the same time. I can care about this person and know that I need to leave the relationship."
Most importantly, safety is key. "You want to get out for your safety and then if children are involved, you want to get out for the child's safety as well. Having a safe space is important, but there's nothing to be ashamed of because you're not alone in this process. We just got to seek help and then work on building us back up."
